SPOILER ALERT: This article contains details about the episode 13 of RuPaul’s Drag Race.
Salina was not happy to go home – and she made it known with her lipstick mirror message that said “Guess I got what I ‘deserved’. Love you hoes.”
Last week, RuPaul asked all of them inevitable question: “Which queen do you think should go home?” Loosey and Anetra said that Salina should go home and she was very salty about that, hence her behavior in Untucked and “I got what I deserved” in her mirror message. But alas, that is the game and one must go – and Miss EsTitties had to sashay and shimmy away.
That said, the vibe is off. It’s down to five and as the queens try to shake off the emotional turmoil of Salina’s departure, Loosey manages to bring the conversation back to her. Miss Laduca is surprised that she was in the bottom two… you can feel the collective eyeroll in the room.
The queens sit down to unpack their feelings in regards to everyone’s answers to Ru’s question. Mistress pats herself on the back for saying Sasha’s name and not Loosey’s because she is being the congenial pageant queen she has alwas been. Then there is the tension between Loosey and Luxx.
Where do we begin?
“I said it and I meant it,” Luxx declares in her confessional. “Loosey’s drag is more on the generic side.”
Loosey disagrees and is confident and cool with a capital C. “I don’t think it’s a bad thing that I am good at a lot of things,” she says as we sense her holding back a temper tantrum (as Mistress points out). The hyper-frenemy relationship between Luxx and Loosey is probably one of the best in the history of Drag Race and I can’t wait till they go head to head… because let’s face it, that’s where this episode is heading.
Nonetheless, it’s the home stretch and all the queens are vying for a spot in the top four – things could get dirty.
“It’s going to be a fight to the finish because we’re all so good,” says Luxx the next day in the Werk Room.
“I am going to win this week – I promise you!” announces Mistress.
Ru walks in and after the queens gather round, he says that they are going to be contestants on a new game show called “Spill the T.” Ru welcomes his co-host Norvina, President of Anastasia Beverly Hills (she always appears around this time in the season, right?).
The game is simple. Ru will ask for the “T” like “Who’s the prettiest queen?” and the queens will vote for themselves or their fellow queens. If their answer matches the majority vote, you get a point. The queens with the most points at the end, wins!
The first question is “Which queen makes you laugh the hardest?” Everyone votes for Mistress except Anetra, who picked Loosey.
Next question is “Which queen thinks she’s the smartest. Guess who everyone picks?
Loosey… including Loosey!
We learn a lot from this game show. The queens unanimously think Mistress is the shadiest (no surprise there) and she is also voted the harriest. On top of that, Mistress is dubbed a thief after she is voted the queen most likely to steal your Anastasia Beverly Hills cosmetics.
The final question is worth 5 points. Ru asks, “Which queen is going home next?” It’s unanimous: Loosey.
Joke’s on them because Loosey ends up winning the challenge.
Ru sets up this week’s maxi-challenge by talking about one of the biggest influences in his life: his high school drama teacher Bill Pannell. He told Ru, “Don’t take life too seriously.”
If you haven’t guessed by now or if you haven’t watched the sneak peek at this week’s episode, it’s the almost-to-the-end makeover challenge. This has been a challenge that many-a-queen slayed and that made many-a-queen sashay away.
This season, the queens will be making over teachers. Ru welcomes five teachers into the Werk Room including Mrs. Marchbanks, Ms. Reyes, Mrs. Wallace, Mrs. Mahoney and Ms. Tang.
Since Loosey won “Spill the T”, she gets to pick her teacher first. She also gets to pick the teachers for the other queens. The pairs are as follows:
- Loosey and middle school choir teacher Mrs.Wallace
- Mistress and high school art teacher Ms. Tang
- Anetra and kindergarten teacher Mrs. Mahoney
- Sasha and middle school teacher Mrs. Marchbanks
- Luxx and first grade teacher Ms. Reyes
Luxx calls shade and thinks that Loosey purposely did not give her the only Black teacher.
As with all makeover challenges, the queens must glam up their teachers and make them over so that they have a strong family resemblance.
The queens get to sit down with their teachers to build a rapport and essentially find a bond in order to welcome them into their drag family. Anetra instantly connects with fellow Filipino Mrs. Mahoney while Loosey and Mrs. Wallace already look like they are related. I mean, Loosey wears a 38 H bra size, Mrs. Wallace wears a 32 double H. It’s a match made in heaven… with a capital H.
Mistress instantly vibes with Ms. Tang. They are both first generation Latina and queer and the two have a very special moment when Mistress tells her that she would have loved to have a teacher that was able to be their queer selves. “Even if your students don’t say it, I’m sure they look up to you so much,” Mistress says sincerely. It brings tears to Ms Tang’s — and my eyes.
— RuPaul's Drag Race (@RuPaulsDragRace) March 25, 2023
Sasha learns that Mrs. Marchbanks is a huge Drag Race fan. She says that her and her husband watch the show so she knows the deal. Sasha makes a plan to pad Mrs. Marchbanks and herself to the GAWDS with this makeover.
Ms. Reyes tells Luxx that she is game for anything! “I definitely think we are going to turn it out!” says Luxx but as Mistress points out, she’s more concerned about creating the lewk than with connecting with her teacher.
All of this leads to a Werk Room walk-off between Mrs. Wallance and Ms. Tang! And after they stomp that runway, Mrs. Wallace is named the winner. However, we all know this was more of a battle between Loosey and Mistress.
Ru comes into the Werk Room for the walkthrough. She calls Sasha and Mrs. Marchbanks over whose name is now Ferocity Colby. They are going for tropical curves and swerves at a luau.
Mistress introduces us to Ms. Tang aka Madam Thang, who will be giving a velvet pageant fantasy. During their chat with Ru, we have yet another good moment with Ms. Tang, who says she recently came out as queer. She praises Mistress for teaching her to live her life authentically, something she passes on to her students.
Anetra and Mrs. Mahoney chat with Ru, who calls them an “interesting pair”. The two of them are going for “bad bitch” which is totally Anetra’s brand. Besides her fear of walking in heels, me thinks they are going to be a fantastic pair.
Luxx and Ms. Reyes mosey on over to Ru. We learn that Ms. Reyes is going to transform into Asia Azul. Meanwhile, Loosey is ready to make Mrs. Wallace aka Lala Laduca into a cool aunt to her slutty niece.
Ru asks Loosey if she feels some type of way about some of the queens saying she should be the one who goes home. Loosey claims she “didn’t give a sh*t”.
Cut to: Luxx’s confessional. “I think Loosey is still very hurt about the comments that I made on the mainstage and she kind of set me up this week to fail,” says Luxx, “but it is what it is and if you try to screw me over it will never end well.”
Ru gives the queens a little twist: They must teach their teachers a lip sync battle.
One by one the queens get the opportunity to rehearse on the mainstage with their teachers. Loosey and Mrs. Wallace seem OK while Sasha is impresses with Mrs. Marchbanks’ knowledge of icon Leiomy – who she is going to embody on the runway. Mistress and Ms. Tang seem to be in a good place while Anetra tries to teach Mrs. Mahoney how to duck walk.
Then there’s Luxx and Ms. Reyes. It’s not going well.
“She looks like a deer in headlights, but I am staying optimistic,“ says Luxx of their rehearsal. “I definitely have my work cut out for me.”
It’s elimination day and the queens are beating their teachers. I mean, they’re beating their face (aka putting their makeup on for all those not fluent in drag speak).
We learn a couple things as the queens and teachers get ready. Anetra and Mrs. Mahoney are having a deep conversation about how homophobia can be unlearned if people are willing. Luxx shares her drag journey with Ms. Reyes, who shares that she has queer kids. Luxx finds a bond through this – but maybe she should have made this kind of connection earlier.
To cut through all of this lovey dovey stuff, the queens are asked: who has the most wins. We already know where this is going. Luxx says she has two wins and has never been in the bottom. Loosey, as expected, chimes in and says, “I have two main challenge wins and three mini challenge wins.”
“I don’t know if mini-challenges count,” Anetra says shadily during her confessional.
There’s a brief lesson in drag terminology before we cut to Sasha in a confessional comparing Luxx’s makeover on Ms. Reyes to those stone statues on Easter Island. Meanwhile, Loosey thinks Mistress made Ms. Tang look like a Disney villain. “I guess that does track with Mistress’s personality,” laughs Loosey.
It’s time for the mainstage! Ru is giving us a punk rock Clueless Burberry-esque moment while she welcomes judges Michelle Visage, Ross Mathews, and guest Hayley Kiyoko.
The category, as we all know, is Drag Family Resemblance. This is how they fared:
- Sasha Colby and Ferocity Colby: They are busty with big ol’ booties, giving luau eleganza.
- Loosey Laduca and Lala Laduca: It’s cute. If anything, Lala looks EXACTLY ike Loosey that it’s frightening.
- Mistress Isabelle Brooks and Madam Thang: Their lewks are DRAG with a capital DD. It’s gorgeous pageant classiness, something that Mistress does very well.
- Luxx Noir London and Asia Azul: Ms. Reyes is Jennifer Coolidge. That’s all I could see.
- Anetra and Alektra: The resemblance is uncanny – but not in a freaky way like Loosey and Lala. It’s giving “bad bitch” just like they wanted.
As critiques kick off, Sasha and Ferocity Colby are the first to get praise. “You two are such family you’re going to fight at Christmas,” Ross compliments.
Michelle points out it’s all about the connection, but with this, it was all about the padding. Ferocity is living her padded fantasy whilst enjoy her tig ol’ bitties.
Michelle loves Loosey and Lala’s lewks but not their runway performance. Hayley disagrees and says she loved them as a pair. So it’s a mixed positive for Lala and Loosey.
Michelle didn’t love Loosey and Lala, but loved Mistress and Madam – which is probably killing Loosey. The judges are eating everything up that Mistress and Madam happy. We also learn that Mistress paid Madam $500 to shave her eyebrows.
Next up: Luxx and Jennifer Coolidge – I mean Asia Azul. Ross thinks Ms. Reyes looks gorgeous. Hayley felt Azul’s nervousness on stage while Michelle does not see a family resemblance. Ru tells Ms. Reyes that all she sees is Jennifer Coolidge. Turns out Ms. Reyes doesn’t know who she is.
“This family resemblance is a no-brainer,” Ross says to Anetra and Alektra, who we already know are in the top based on these lewks alone. Ross especially likes the “arm foreskin” on these yin yang bodysuits. Hayley and Michelle continue the praise and gush about their performances and their connection.
After an amazing lip sync battle between the teachers, Ru gives them all straight A’s and gay A’s. Then she and the judges dive into deliberations which lead us to believe that Luxx and Loosey will indeed be in the bottom two, while the other three queens are up for the win.
The queens return to the stage and Ru ru-veals her decisions. Mistress: safe. Sasha: safe. This means that Anetra is the winner, giving her back-to-back wins!
As expected, Loosey and Luxx are in the bottom. During her confessional, Loosey says she is shocked (again, no surprise there) to be in the bottom but guarantees that she is going to be in the finale. Meanwhile, Luxx is doing some squats and stretching on the stage and says during her confessional “For the first time in herstory, Luxx Noir London has into the bottom so bitch, I am ready to give the judges a show that they have not seen before and I am ready to send Loosey home!”
As soon as the beat for Hayley’s “For The Girls” drops, we already know this lip sync is going to be a battle. Luxx is monopolizing that stage – but that doesn’t mean Loosey isn’t giving her all. It’s just that Luxx is serving — and that’s why Ru chooses her to stay.
It looks like it’s Loosey’s time to sashay away. She walks off the mainstage in tears and says she feels “slighted” when interviewed backstage. She says she deserved to be in the finale… and she starts to talk smack about the other queens. I know she’s probably filled with emotions right now, but it’s giving sore loser and unsportsmanlike conduct energy.
Nonetheless, it’s down to four!