SPOILER ALERT: This article contains details about the episode 7 of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars.
Jaymes has been sent home and there are now six queens left vying for that All Stars crown. As Jaymes enters the “Fame Games” (which I feel she has a strong chance of winning), Kandy is celebrating her first win – one that was surprisingly deserved.
Speaking of surprises, Kahanna counts the lip stick votes and all the queens except for Jaymes voted for Jaymes. Alexis points out that Kahanna had one win and Jaymes did not which is why she voted for the latter to go home. Meanwhile, Lala says she just votes based on how she’s feeling that day. It is clear that any voting strategy that was in place before is now out the window.
Now that it is down to the top six, there is really nowhere to hide because either you’re in the top or you’re in the bottom. If we’re going by track record, the queens in danger are Lala and Alexis. If neither of them pull out a win this week, they will be very vulnerable to be sent home if in the bottom.
It’s a new week in the Werk Room and I’m just gonna call it: If Kahanna is in the bottom, she’s going home… unless the queens just want to keep her in the bottom until she can’t bottom no more. That would be a very rude and dirty strategy – but I wouldn’t put it past some of these queens.
RuPaul walks into the Werk Room to ru-veal this week’s challenge: the new “Ru-crime” series Forensic Queens in an episode titled “What Had Happened to Little Poundcake?”. Yes, it’s that Little Poundcake from season 5. And yes, this is the improv challenge. The queens must act out this “Ru-crime” series without a script and nothing but their improvisation wiles to save them.
Then it comes time to choose their roles for Forensic Queens – a task that has been proven to be unbelievably competitive as it is irritating. Kahanna is worried that it’s another acting challenge and as we’ve seen, it isn’t her strong suit. She’s just going to end up in the bottom again and it’s really giving self-fulfilling prophecy.
To no surprise, there’s drama when the queens are picking roles. It starts off civil. Alexis and Lala both want to play the security guard. Nothing else stands out to Lala so Alexis says she would play the detective instead, which is the role that Kandy wants.
Here we go…
Alexis suggests Kandy play the district attorney. Kandy ain’t feelin’ it. One thing leads to another and Alexis is getting a bit heated. Kandy and Alexis exchange some words about the roles and Alexis gives and is “the bigger person” and agrees to play the district attorney.
Then it happens: Alexis cries.
Jessica and Jimbo console her while Kandy rolls her eyes and says, “I cannot with the dramatics!” and walks away.
The pressure is getting to everyone and people are navigating it in different ways. Either way, it’s getting wildly tense in the Werk Room and now… Kahanna is ready to walk away from the competition.
It’s going to be Heidi Part 2! Kahanna is literally packing up her stuff! The pressure has gotten to her and she says she doesn’t want to be humiliated again for her acting skills. Everyone In the room is lowkey freaking out. It feels like everyone is dropping like flies. All Stars is one step away from descending into chaos.
“I just want to be a drag queen that has fun and that lives my best life!” Lala says to alleviate the tension in the room.
Just when you think Kahanna is about to push the self-destruct button, Ru surprises the queen by paying an unprecedented visit to the Werk Room.
“Alright ladies, we’re gathering around! Mama is here to straighten shit out!” Ru commands.
She gathers the queens and gives them a stern talking to: “Don’t let your feelings sabotage your experience in this life! Do not!”
Ru clearly straightened these queens out, saying “Feelings aren’t facts!” She also encourages them to have fun before she dismisses them. It feels like it worked. Kahanna stays put and gets some words of encouragement from Jimbo. Alexis puts on her Rachel Berry face and gets back down to business. Kandy continues to be Kandy and the rest of the queens who were just witnessing the drama put their popcorn away and get back to Forensic Queens. Also, Kandy and Alexis kiss and make up. So everyone is happy and ready to go.
Based on the challenge brief, the queens who are best at improv have an advantage. That said, I feel that Alexis and Jimbo have the upperhand here with Kandy and Jessica being the wildcard. Not too sure about Lala, but I know for sure that Kahanna is in danger again.
In the Forensic Queens episode we are introduced to Jessica as Ura Dragg and Kahanna as Imma Foxx, two contestants who appeared on the lost episode of Drag Race featuring Little Poundcake. Jessica and Kahanna are actually serving! In fact, they are pretty damn good – especially Jessica.
Lala proved me wrong. As Shari Coleman, she was incredible. She embodied this messy auntie of a security guard. Like, she is really funny and very “eloguent”.
Since Kandy fought hard for the role of detective, all eyes are on her to steal the show. She did well, but it wasn’t the best. Jimbo as forensic examiner Eva Dentz and her “shtink finger” had be gagging literally and figuratively while Alexis’s performance as the district attorney was just OK. It’s exactly what’s expected from Alexis, but wasn’t the strongest of the bunch.
When all is said and done, Lala stole the show when it came to Forensic Queens. I would be surprised if she doesn’t win.
Ru is looking like a leggy golden Grease lightning riding goddess as she introduces judges Michelle Visage, Carson Kressley, and special guest judge, Batwoman star Javicia Leslie.
The runway category is “Miss Fill in the Blank”. Here’s how the lewks fared:
- Jessica: Her “Miss Sausage Party” is fun. It’s basically a beautiful gown with wieners (or “winners”) hanging all over it topped with a crown of wieners. Not the greatest, but enough to know that she is safe.
- Kahanna: She chose to pay homage to Phi Phi O’Hara as “Miss Tired Ass Showgirl” and it is gorgeous. I am looking for the “tired ass” part of this and it was nowhere to be found. It probably would have given the lewk the campiness it needs to stand out.
- Lala: Lovin’ her “Miss Bootlegger” lewk. It’s giving elevated and “eloguent” Canal Street vendor.
- Kandy: I think Kandy has great style but sometimes, I don’t understand. Her lewk this week is “Miss Arrogant” but I don’t see anything arrogant about it. It’s not translating, but it still looks good!
- Alexis: I think her dirty “Miss Manpig” jockstrap lewk is lovely. It’s delightfully filthy.
- Jimbo: Of course Jimbo is gonna give us “Miss Tits Magee”. Her Z-cup pageant queen slays.
For the most part, everyone gets a good critique from the judges but now that they are getting down to the nitty gritty. However, Jessica, Lala, and Jimbo are clearly in the top while Kandy, Kahanna, and Alexis got mixed reviews for their lewks and performances, putting them in the bottom.
Ru picks Lala as the winner, making it her first win! Jessica, Kandy and Jimbo are safe while Kahanna is once again in the bottom alongside Alexis, who has the stronger track record.
As Kahanna and Alexis await their fate, Lala takes the stage and competes against this week’s Lip Sync Assassin: Hellotus it’s Jorgeous! The two do the thang to Lizzo’s “About Damn Time”.
It’s a very movin’ and groovin’ lip sync – and Lala definitely served the ”Lala Ri Experience” as she wins. When asked, she reaches into her bra to Ru-veal that she has chosen Kahanna to go home.
Sad to see the lovely Kahanna depart, but it was her time. It’s both shady and poetic that Lala lip synced to “About Damn Time” to send her home. Joking aside, Kahanna is indeed a fierce queen and so glad we got to see more of her this season!