In the second season of the Michelle Buteau-fronted comedy Survival of the Thickest, actor Dan Amboyer has a big moment as his character Harrison marries RuPaul’s Drag Race alum Peppermint, who plays a version of herself. In addition, Amboyer starred in Max Mondi’s two-hander Maybe Tomorrow on stage opposite Elizabeth A. Davis at the Mezzanine Theatre at the A.R.T. and he was nominated by his alma mater, Carnegie Mellon University to present the Teacher of the Year Tony Award on June 8 at the ceremony.
Needless to say, he’s having a great year.
Amboyer’s resume also includes his role as the not-so-liked Thad Stedman (and later in the series, his brother Chad) on TV Land’s Younger. He’s also appeared in NBC’s Blacklist: Redemption,CBS’ Tell Me A Story, and has even played a royal as Prince William in Hallmark’s Channel’s William & Catherine: A Royal Romance.
From stage to screen, from queer to hetero, Amboyer has been playing all types of roles. GLAAD had the opportunity to talk to him about his special bond with Peppermint and how it was like “marrying” her on Survival of the Thickest. We also talk about how the on-screen wedding made him think about his marriage to his husband, his love for theatre, his coming-out journey during Younger, authentic storytelling, and how some people can’t quite separate his real-life self from the Younger character Thad.
In April, you ended your run on Max Mondi’s play Maybe Tomorrow. Was being a theatre actor the original goal?
Being a theatre actor was my only goal for a long time. I grew up in Michigan and found my kinsfolk in theatre at a young age. It never even occurred to me that film or tv could be possible for me. The idea of “Hollywood” and being part of that world seemed so far away. [It was] gor someone else. And looking back, knowing at even at 11 that I was gay—I think I limited myself as to who I could be and what the ceiling might be for someone like me. All I really aspired to be was a working actor doing meaningful work. I thought that probably meant a lifetime hoofing it show to show in regional theatre.
What was the TV show, film, play, or actor made you say “I want to be in entertainment!”?
I grew up going to see the greats at the Stratford Shakespeare Festival in Canada, which was just about a two hour drive across the border from us in the Detroit area. They’d do about 15 plays every season—Shakespeare, Wilde, Moliere, musicals, and some new plays. They have a storied resident acting company that they mostly retain year to year — and those were my star: Brian Bedford, Martha Henry, Brent Carver, Christopher Plummer… even Maggie Smith starred in Shakespeare plays there back in her day. Seeing those theatrical greats on stage and so close shaped my vision of the actor that I wanted to be, and the rigor I wanted to pursue it with.
In a huge episode of Survival of the Thickest season 2, your character Harrison marries Pepperimint. You married your husband in 2017. What kind of memories and emotions did shooting that episode bring up?
It definitely took me back to my wedding day with Eric! In both instances, I was surrounded by such a joyful and supportive community — standing up there at the altar, you can just feel waves of love radiating forth. And yet, and some point, you lock eyes with your betrothed and the room melts away. It of course was such an emotional moment in my real life when I married Eric. Although different, I found filming that wedding episode to be an emotional moment too.
Peppermint and I have become close friends, and knowing what that moment meant to her, to our community, and to the show—I felt so honored to be part of that. I wanted to do my best to tell the story of a real, passionate love — a palpable undeniable chemistry to transcend the screen. For people to feel that pulsing undeniable love. To perhaps win over some chilly hearts who happen to have a Netflix account and that might just stumble upon our show!
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In a previous interview with GLAAD, you and Peppermint talked about how you went on a couple of dates to get to know each other before you got TV married. Had you known much about Peppermint before? And how was it like getting to know her on your “dates”?
(laughs) Yes we definitely had some quality friend dates. As it happened, shortly after I was asked to play Harrison, I was attending a gala in New York — and who was the host — Peppermint! She was very much in the hostess and performer mode, owning the room. She didn’t know that I had been cast yet, it was a couple months before the season started filming. I approached her in a quiet moment, and introduced myself — and told her that I’d be her husband on the show which was kind of wild moment. She grabbed my hand and pulled me away. We found a quiet place to talk. That was when I first got an understanding of her as a drag performer versus who she is as a person… and so we began! We’ve done so much: visits to our regular diner, openings, escape rooms, parties, hangs — some personal ups and downs too. She’s a great human and I’m proud to have her as such a close friend in real life.
What was the most memorable moment for you from the episode?
There were so many. The way she looked when she walked down the aisle. I mean, I’ve never had a bride walking down the aisle for me before, that was definitely brand new! Us making up our own choreographed “first dance” minutes before cameras went up for the ball room scene. People Magazine coming in to do our “wedding photos,” as Peppermint and I MacGyver’ed some realistic wedding setups. Helping carry Pep’s wedding dress as we did midnight snack runs at craft services out on the street. The wedding shoot went on for days, it was really an event!
What did this episode mean to you?
It was an honor to be invited to this table. In this phase of my career, I’m hopeful to be part of meaningful projects. Joyful projects that celebrate and humanize “outsiders” and “underdogs.” Truthful projects that reflect some of the complicated and beautiful experience that we as queer-identifying people live day to day. Some of the films that were available while I was growing up, even like [The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert], Beautiful Thing, Jeffrey, Billy’s Hollywood Screen Kiss, Boys Don’t Cry — those films got me through some dark times as a teenager. I would love to be part of more work like that.
For the younger folks out there who may be watching, who may need these stories, this sense of understanding, that something else is waiting for them beyond their current circumstance — maybe those kids in the “flyover” states. That was me. I wish I had more of that growing up, especially as an isolated gay teen.
You are very well known for your role on Younger. What did you learn about yourself from playing Thad and Chad?
Playing both roles was such a gift. I could never have imagined that. When we began, Thad was a challenge for me. Really he is my polar opposite — a womanizing, sharp-edged, no apologies alpha man. At the time I had a manager, with a good amount of clout, advise me that people shouldn’t know I was gay — that that would severely limit my career and growth potential. As a result, I felt myself close off in many professional situations where I felt that vulnerability. I didn’t know anyone involved going into the pilot of Younger, and I felt pressure to not “give myself away” on set — to let people see how far away this character was from me personally. I didn’t want to get fired.
A lot of times, especially in TV and film, actors play a pretty close variation to who they are personally — but Thad was not that for me. It wasn’t until we were shooting the promo commercial for season two, and Nico Tortorella and I were sharing a dressing room trailer — we had this moment of confiding in each other and coming out to each other. That discovery and embrace meant so much to me. I felt much freer from there on out.
I had always loved the actors, and especially the writers on that show—but I then felt the confidence to really let them see me. Slowly, Thad started to reflect a little more dimension and vulnerability. And of course, become the unraveling super villain. But then to have Darren Star write a whole second character for me out of the blue—that twist of twists — blew my mind. It was such an opportunity to show a completely different side of me, and I ran with that. There were no discussions or rehearsal about how I should approach it — I just tried to make really distinctive choices and pull from farther corners of my own personality to differentiate the brothers. After I shot Chad’s first scene, Darren was there watching in video village, he came over and said something like, “We had no idea how this would work — but you just killed it. Some of the crew thought it was actually a different actor.” That meant the world to me. I have so much gratitude and love for that whole team to this day. But I don’t know if that opportunity would have happened if I hadn’t learned to allow folks to see the real me.
As you mentioned, Thad isn’t exactly a beloved character and his end was a shocker for a lot of people. What have been some memorable reactions from fans when it came to approaching you about Thad?
I am always so amused at how much people despise Thad. I remember walking down the street in WeHo—yes, walking in L.A. as any true New Yorker should — and a car rolls by and a woman screams out the window, “I HATE YOU! YOU SUCK THAD!” and just speed away in a “that only happens in a movie” sort of way. That was a total WTF but very amusing moment. I get less aggressive variations of that on the streets in New York. I’ll talk to folks for a moment, and pretty reliably, they’ll come to say, “You’re so different!” I guess I could probably get away with being a pinch more asshole if I really wanted to!
Throughout your career, you’ve acted in queer stories and very heteronormative stories. As a performer, what is important to you when it comes to authentic storytelling?
Growing up, the queer movies I had access to were very meaningful to me. I have to admit, when I found out Paul Rudd wasn’t actually gay some time after obsessing over The Object of My Affection or the boys in Brokeback Mountain, or any of the queens in Priscilla, etc — I did feel a tinge let down.
Movies, at the end of the day, are entertainment and not reality, and actors should absolutely be able to play many diverse roles different than themselves. I have certainly benefited from that privilege but movies and television also have the opportunity to transcend their medium and become impactful cultural moments that can shape our real world.
I believe that an audience authentically connecting with a queer character can have the power to spark new empathy. And if there’s an authentically queer person in the role, if those sometimes marginalized performers have that opportunity, that moment could potentially become even more meaningful. I am newly relishing the opportunity to explore parts of my identity as a queer person on screen. Doing that opposite Neil Patrick Harris on Uncoupled clicked for me in a sort of electric way — but I wouldn’t say my work opposite some truly beautiful leading ladies was any less authentic. You always have to fall a little bit in love with the person you are paired up with. Love the human beyond the gender.
What does it mean to you to have your alma mater Carnegie Mellon nominate you to present Teacher of the Year Tony Award on June 8?
It’s an incredible honor. Carnegie Mellon has many, many more famous alumni than me and I couldn’t quite believe my eyes when I awoke to that early morning email still in bed and half asleep. It feels like an acknowledgment in some ways, but also them presenting an opportunity for me — almost like, “Hey, we believe in this guy and he represents what we’re about in some way. Let’s help raise him up.”
To be Carnegie Mellon’s ambassador on this committee alongside The Broadway League and The American Theatre Wing is a great honor in my life. We worked together to pour through many amazing Teacher of the Year candidates. My parents are both retired teachers and I’ve been impacted by deeply special teachers over my life so I took the responsibility very seriously. I’m happy to report that there are many amazing arts educators out there in every corner of this country doing the good work. I’m thrilled for the winner we landed on and I can’t wait to present that special Tony Award at this year’s ceremony.
If you could talk to young Dan who is about to graduate from Carnegie Mellon, what would you say?
I think I’d probably say the same things I say to myself to this day: the harder times make the brighter times bright. Relish the opportunities that come your way. Don’t let up. Work harder and be more prepared than you think you need to be. Support your fellow friends and artists. Raise people up whenever possible. Be kind. To yourself and to others. Think less about what other people think of you. Trust your gut.
Survival of the Thickest is available now on Netflix.
