For the longest time I was tricked into believing that being a transgender man was my greatest source of weakness. I was told this lie time and time again from the cisnormative society in which I was raised. As I became more comfortable with my identity I began to push back against the stigma surrounding transgender people.
The seemingly ever-present mockery and belittlement of transgender people seemed almost paradoxical to me, as the very same cisgender people who were oppressing us were the ones who taught us as children to be the best possible versions of ourselves. Yet when we put that concept into practice they immediately outcast us and shunned us for daring to step out of the suffocating confines of the binary label. A label that they had placed on us.
It’s #TransAwarenessWeek, a week to celebrate transgender people and lift up and take action around the issues impacting the community. https://t.co/ouD975nVvP pic.twitter.com/jXNa7Ot99b
— GLAAD (@glaad) November 13, 2020
Being transgender means looking into the depths of one’s soul, seeing what’s on the inside, and then being brave enough to accept and embrace our most authentic selves. I am honored each and every day to be a part of the transgender community and to have the opportunity to be an advocate alongside so many others.
Advocating for the transgender community has come in many forms for me, with my latest accomplishment being that I was successful in convincing my Congressman in New Jersey to recognize Transgender Day of Remembrance for the first time. That may seem like a small victory, but it can and, oftentimes, does mean the world to those of us who see, perhaps for the very first time, that other people are listening to and caring about our lives and stories as transgender individuals.
Being heard and represented matters for trans people. Hearing our stories is an important part of understanding our community’s needs. In celebration of Trans Week, GLAAD asked 8 of us transmen and transmasculine people about being a part of the trans community and the importance of allyship. Check out our advice and experiences below.
Alex Escaja, he/they
Vermont
What is your favorite thing about being a part of the trans community?
The support and the love. The space for authenticity. The celebration of differences and acceptance of expression. The room to play, to learn, and to be supported regardless of the way we look or act or feel. There is a freedom and shared liberation in transgender communities that bring me joy, inspiration, and empowerment every single day.
How can people be better allies to trans people?
Seek out transgender representation in your life! Follow us on social media, read books by trans authors, watch films by trans directors, and listen to the trans people in your life. And I don’t mean exclusively on the “transgender experience” – by normalizing transgender people, you are being a better ally. In general, diversity the representation around you and educate yourself on intersectional issues so that collective liberation can be achieved! Also – HIRE US!
Apollo Lomba, he/him
New York
What do cisgender people get wrong about transgender people?
I think something people get wrong about the transgender community is the idea that we haven’t been around for centuries. Trans people have been present since the dawn of time. We need to break away from the language of “this is so new” to “I finally see you” when speaking about trans folks.
What is your advice to trans youth?
Some advice I’d give trans youth would be to allow your identity to take any shape it needs too. Something I felt during my early years of transition was that I was “doing it wrong.” It is impossible to transition incorrectly. Once we stop comparing our growth to others, we can celebrate how far we’ve come.
Charlie King, he/him
Texas
What is your favorite thing about being a part of the trans community?
My favorite thing about being a part of the trans community is the freedom of self-expression and the incredible people, who are so supportive. I think that the community encourages self-acceptance and only wants to spread love.
How can people be better allies to trans people?
I think something that trans allies can do to improve could be to always put your pronouns in your bio, as well as, if you are unsure of someone’s pronouns you can offer your pronouns first, to show you are a safe person.
Daniel Camacho, he/him
Illinois
How can people be better allies to trans people?
Listening. There are a lot of ways to be an ally to trans people, but the act of listening – to trans activists, to the trans people in your life, to trans people, really – is how you learn. This means being able to admit that you may have made a mistake, as uncomfortable as it can be! What’s important is working on educating yourself.
Jack Waguespack Almeida, he/him
Louisiana
What is your favorite thing about being a part of the trans community?
Being able to choose my family and those who I surround myself with. My chosen family has been there for me ever since I came out and it’s what has kept me going.
What do cisgender people get wrong about transgender people?
A lot of people think that gender isn’t a spectrum. It’s not just one or the other, there are so many identities out there.
What is your advice to trans youth?
One day you will grow up to be the person you needed when you were younger. Continue to be that person for those that come after and before you.
Jake Attias, he/him
New Jersey
What is your favorite thing about being a part of the trans community?
Connecting with other trans people who show me just how incredibly powerful and impactful using our voices to encourage positive change can be is my favorite part of being in the trans community. I am constantly in awe of the amazing achievements that my trans peers are accomplishing!
How can people be better allies to trans people?
I wish that people knew that trans people do not have to physically transition in order to be considered trans. Only affirming trans people who “pass” as cisgender feeds into the stereotype that all trans people wish to be perceived as cis and that is their main goal. Many trans people are proud to be visibly trans and including and affirming all different types of trans people in conversations can help change the narrative into one that is more inclusive and representative of the trans community at large.
What is your advice to trans youth?
You are strong, brave, and valid. I know it may be tough right now, but I promise you that there are so many people that are cheering for you and that love and accept you just the way you are.
Jalen Smith, he/him
California
What is your favorite thing about being a part of the trans community?
[My favorite thing is] That life gets easier knowing you aren’t alone. Because there are so many others out there who have experienced the same confusion and pain from being lost for so long, simply trying to find out who they are in this world that, oftentimes, doesn’t want to make room for them.
What do cisgender people get wrong about transgender people?
Trans and gender-nonconforming individuals are not an enigma to be figured out, a threat to you or anyone, and, most importantly, they are not a burden. A small difference in gender identity is by no means an excuse to be treated with any less than what is to be expected, respect.
How can people be better allies to trans people?
If you’re unsure, ask for pronouns. Even consider giving your own because not only does this normalize a small, polite gesture, but it helps create a much more inclusive environment for trans people to feel more comfortable to eventually share theirs. Because if this simple act can make all the difference for someone, shouldn’t we be doing it more often?
Mason Bernardo, he/him
Washington
What is your favorite thing about being a part of the trans community?
My favorite thing about the trans community is the level of strength and perseverance we all have, as well as the talents and uniqueness that makes our community shine.
How can people be better allies to trans people?
I want allies to be more active in helping us. Especially when it comes to trans People of Color. We, as trans people and as allies, need to listen better and work on solutions to end violence and stigma.
What is your advice to trans youth?
Keep your chin up as much as you can. You are valid, you are seen, you are beautiful.
Jake Attias is a GLAAD Campus Ambassador and junior at American University studying Political Science. Jake is passionate about LGBTQ+ issues and empowering young people to engage in activism. After completing his studies, Jake is interested in pursuing a career in the non-profit sector.